Just a year ago, Steve Mandanda bowed out, after three final seasons with Rennes. At 40 years old, the emblematic OM goalkeeper punctuated 21 years of professional football beginning in Le Havre and punctuated by a short experience in the Premier League, in the ranks of Crystal Palace. An exemplary sporting life also enhanced by 35 selections for the French team, and no less than five UNFP trophies for best goalkeeper in Ligue 1, between 2008 and 2018.
This shows the depth of the page that the native of Kinshasa had to turn last spring. Constrained and forced by the weight of years. In his confession-like book entitled “The Days After” to be published by Flammarion, Steve Mandanda admits his distress in the face of the great emptiness of post-football. Unvarnished and without taboo.
“ For the past few weeks, not much has tasted good anymore. (…) I swing like a pendulum. My days are endless and empty. Void of energy. Meaningless. Really, is that the little death? It’s not okay. I don’t do anything, absolutely nothing. Yes, I played padel this morning with a friend. He has a job. What will I become? What do I do with my life, with my days? I sink in silence. (…) I didn’t want to stop permanently, too aware that I loved this life. (…) I’m unemployed, lying on my couch without even knowing what I’m waiting for, without knowing what I want. Want nothing », We can read in the good sheets already made public by its publisher.
“I no longer have these weird thoughts running through me”
“ What am I, who am I? What do I know how to do at the end of the day, after twenty-five years of career at the highest level? I no longer have any schedule, no rhythm, no appointments, nothing. It’s catastrophic, I see myself from above, continues the 2018 world champion. I don’t like anything in my life right now. I think I’m unhappy. In any case lost. I no longer have any reference points. I no longer have my two posts or the game in front of me. » And to name Guillaume Hoarau among his precious supporters: “
Guillaume understood everything I felt, having been there himself, three years ago, after the end of his career. This feeling of being useless, this feeling of emptiness, the sadness, the anger, the inactivity… He spoke to me about other players who had just stopped and who, too, were experiencing the situation very badly. And not the least, but I prefer to keep their names quiet. »
A year later, Steve Mandanda says he is getting better: “ I honestly think I have digested it. I moved on, yes. I no longer feel negative feelings, I no longer have these weird thoughts running through me. (…) I believe that carefully anticipating a reconversion would not have changed anything. Maybe that would have softened the shock, but all the same, it wouldn’t have changed the fact that there’s nothing stronger than the pitch, the locker room, the match, the adrenaline, the singing stadium. The “days after” mean accepting for good that it’s over, agreeing to face this void that football leaves when it stops without sinking into it. It’s remembering the beautiful things. »
